(and for existing groups evaluating their group life)
Below are questions new small groups may wish to discuss. They are also helpful for existing groups to
revisit when periodically evaluating group life. Some questions are best addressed at the first or second
meeting; others may be raised a little later. It’s important that all members have input into forming and
tending the life of a small group; and know that whenever two or three are gathered, grace and compromise
are often needed.
– Meeting time. What day and time works best for us? How long shall we meet? Do we want a firm ending
time?
– Meeting place. Where shall we gather? Does one place work best or should we rotate our meeting place?
What expectations come with hosting the meeting?
– Size. How many people would we like in our group? If we’re open to inviting more, are there any
particular parameters we’re looking for? (Students? Families? Tenors? …)
– Small Group Covenant. Some groups often find it useful to come to a common understanding on matters
that make small group safe, supportive, and nurturing for all. It can be helpful to document or otherwise
put in writing your agreement on the following five matter so that there is sufficient clarity.
- Confidentiality. What is our common understanding about how we talk outside of group about what
gets shared in small group? What understandings would make small group a safe place to share
personal information? - Group commitment. What are our commitments to attending group gatherings? Are there
differences in commitment or availability that make consistent group life difficult for some? - Being heard. How shall we make sure that everybody has a chance to be heard, and that a few don’t
dominate group time? - Designating roles. Do we want to designate certain roles in the group; e.g. someone as the group’s
facilitator? Time-watcher? Organizer? Other roles? - Evaluating group life. How often should we evaluate group life; where everyone can identify what
they most appreciate about small group, and what aspects of group life need attention? (See Small
Group Check-up Questions).
– Agenda. How shall we structure our time together? How can we learn to know each other? (New groups
sometimes begin by having people share a portion of their life story). Do we have a mission or focus we’d
like to pursue?
– Rituals. What rituals would we like to establish? Praying? Eating together? A devotion? Something else?
– Rep. Who can represent us at the monthly small group reps meeting? Reps usually meet the 4th Tuesday
of the month, with no meetings in June, July, and December. (See Rep’s job description)
– Name. What name best fits our group?
– Children. How are we thinking about incorporating or not incorporating the children we have in group life?
The congregation has some history of providing childcare on some Wednesday nights. Are there other ways
we want to help each other in childcare?
– Avoiding common pitfalls. Often times it is helpful to name the most common pitfalls of group life, and
you want to discuss how your group will try to work with them before or if they become a problem. They
include:
- divergent levels of attendance/commitment by people in a group;
- groups that meet infrequently or haphazardly;
- no one feels empowered to take leadership (which includes planning, organizing, facilitating);
- individuals who tend to dominate group time or who have needs greater than the group can
handle*; - agenda which isn’t compelling (or the group doesn’t stick with the agenda it planned).
* Working with people with significant needs
Assembly small groups are a place where we invite people to share their lives and receive support
from others. Because of this, small groups play an important, front-line role in supporting each other
during hard times. But being a healthy small group requires some awareness of the difference between
“front-line pastoral care,” and regularly spending significant time and energy supporting one member
who has substantial or long-term needs. Small groups are usually not an ideal place to do the latter.
A small group which finds itself with a member who has more needs than the group can attend should
inform the pastoral team. They can offer the person a different space to get the intensive care and
attention they need. It is also appropriate for small groups to set useful boundaries for sharing during
group time, and the pastors can help with this too. Tending small group life in this way allows groups to
a) include people with high needs without burning out, and b) protect their purpose of being a nurturing
place for all members.